Taking us even further away from the serious world of science, here are some actual warnings from real instruction manuals.
For this first list, it is hopefully not too cruel to say that if the user of the device really needed to be told this, they shouldn’t be allowed to own it in the first place! Of course, the real reasons for such messages are to avoid any chance of of the manufacturer being sued.
1. Avoid dropping air conditioners out of windows (air conditioner installation).
2. Do not use while sleeping (hair dryer).
3. Never iron clothes on the body (iron).
4. Do not use to pick up anything that is currently burning (vacuum cleaner).
5. This broom does not actually fly (Harry Potter toy broom).
6. Some assembly required (jigsaw puzzle).
7. Cape does not enable user to fly (Batman costume).
8. To put a call on Hold: Press “Hold” (telephone).
9. Do not take if allergic to aspirin (Aspirin tablets).
10. May cause drowsiness (sleeping pill).
11. Do not attempt to stop chain with hands or genitals (chainsaw).
And with this second batch, we can only hope that something was lost in the translation into English.
1. Do not wash or dry clean (item of clothing).
2. On startup: No keyboard detected. Press any key to continue (computer).
3. Do not turn upside down (printed on the bottom of the box).
4. You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside (packet of chips).
5. May cause cancer in California (garden hose).